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  • Mitchell Rothbardt

Don’t be that guy.

I am pretty good about shutting myself off in the gym. When you go to a big-box commercial gym you just have to deal with things like bad music, more arm-curl machines than squat racks, having to go on an Indiana Jones like quest for a 25 pound plate, and so on. It sucks but what are you gonna do? That being said, we live in a society right? Can’t we all just get along? Aren’t we in this together? Let’s all gather in a circle and join hands and speak of the things that certain people do that should not be done and we shall make the gym, and therefore the world, a better place.

Rack your weights.

I am not your mother and I am also not impressed that you can do 10 plates on the leg press. Clean up your damn shit or don’t use it to begin with. Don’t make me wait to see if someone is using the bench even though there isn’t anyone near it. I have helped people unrack plates off of bars and machines because the weights were too heavy for them to lift. A nice 60 year old lady shouldn’t feel like she can’t bench press because she can’t unrack your crap. It’s hard enough getting some people to do free weights instead of wasting their time on machines and you go and try to fuck it up for them?! Don’t be that guy!

This is a weight tree not a towel rack.

I am trying to get to a 10 lb. plate and I really don’t want to move your smelly-ass towel to get to it. One thing I love doing to these guys, though, is putting whatever weights I’m racking right on top of their towel. Sometimes it’s the little things in life, you know.

Do not do your set right in front of the dumbell rack.

Are you really so self-absorbed that you don’t realize that doing your shrugs six inches from the rack means that noone else can get to any of the dumbbells on that rack!? You are taking up like seven sets of dumbbells, you ass! Take a step back!

Do not drop your dumbbells.

Do you not realize the danger inherent in dropping a pair of fifty pound dumbbells from three feet up in a crowded gym? Once again, I am not interested in how much weight you can dumbbell bench press and if you wind up breaking my foot I will break that foot off in your ass. If you can’t control the weight on the way down, don’t pick it up to begin with. You’re not Olympic lifting with bumper plates. Don’t act like it.

Get to work or move.

I don’t care if you want to use this place like a social club, but get out of the squat rack if that’s what you’re doing. Doing one half-assed set and then taking a 6 minute rest while talking to your buddy is very fucking irritating. Seeing as this is a 24 Hour Fitness we only have one squat rack, so get moving.

Mitch Rothbardt

(coming soon)

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